Autor: doctor of psychology Dijana Ivanišević
We didn’t choose this isolation ourselves. We didn’t choose this inability to move freely in this beautiful, sunny weather either. Because this isn’t the spring break we know when we eagerly plan to rest from early mornings, piles of classes, studying, and tests. This isolation didn’t ask us about its start or end times, and since it wasn’t chosen voluntarily, it can’t be easy. In fact, it’s particularly hard for people in all stages of life because it’s simply natural. We’ve lost our routine. Whether it was good or bad, we were accustomed to it, and then suddenly, overnight, everything had to change. We’ve lost something else, perhaps even more important for young people. We’ve lost the sense of freedom, control, and predictability in our daily lives that helped us navigate the hectic pace, perpetual lack of time, and stress that come with numerous academic and extracurricular activities.
However, it’s evident that “life in the time of coronavirus” poses significant threats to both our physical and mental health. Yet, it’s not all bleak. Contrary to that, it’s known that in every bad, negative situation, there’s at least something good and positive—if we’re willing to make the effort to see the bigger picture, reflect on the overall situation, and find some positive aspect, however small and seemingly insignificant it may be. Also, the good news is that we can always make a choice, take action, and count on someone’s support because no matter how hopeless and bleak it may seem, there’s always a solution… We’re not alone. And we’re not helpless either, unless we choose that position ourselves and impose it voluntarily because whatever life throws at us, we also have the ability to adapt.
In line with this, what can we do to preserve or even improve our mental health, despite being in a quite demanding and stressful period? Here are a few tips and guidelines for self-help!
- Stop excessively searching and gathering endless amounts of information and news about the current virus. Being informed about the situation is important, but at the same time, it’s crucial to limit yourself to trusted sources of news that you can rely on. Try to resist the constant need to check the number of new infections and the current situation. It’s healthy to be informed and appropriately concerned because only from this perspective can we take action and take responsibility, follow the guidelines of the competent institutions, and thus protect ourselves and others, preventing the spread of the virus. However, it is not helpful to be overly informed, scared, and panicked because such a reaction does not contribute to constructive action. Instead, it can lead us into an endless whirlpool of (mis)information and feelings of helplessness, which is the last thing we need right now. Therefore, choose your sources of information wisely and stay informed, but not overwhelmed, so that you can make rational decisions and move closer to the end of this challenging and limiting situation.
- It is necessary to accept the current situation as soon as possible and make an effort to adapt to it as much as possible. This will make it much easier for us to calmly “survive” it, while reminding ourselves that it too shall pass. Because everything comes and goes, and so will this situation. With all the abilities and resources that we often forget we have, together we will manage to pull through and remain healthy and strong, no matter what.
- It is useful to live day by day, step by step, without making big plans. It’s beneficial to live more in the “here and now” while also planning for the future.
- The isolation has suddenly reduced our obligations and given us almost all the time in the world. However, dealing with this new situation, appealing as it may seem at first glance, is not easy, but of course, it is not impossible either. Therefore, it is very important to make an effort to create a new daily routine, plan and organize your time for work and learning through online platforms, and schedule time for rest. This will help you regain the much-needed sense of stability and security as soon as possible. It is also crucial to accept that, no matter how much we wish otherwise, we cannot control everything, and this situation is just another proof of that.
- Self-isolation provides more time for “working on yourself”. Use this time to ask yourself: What aspects of yourself and your life have you long wanted to change, but constantly postponed due to lack of time? What new skills do you want to acquire? What can you do from home using various online platforms? Which quality channels can you follow to learn something new and strive to apply it in the coming days? What new positive habits for self-improvement do you want to develop? Perhaps you can finally try yoga or meditation, visualization or focusing on the positive, better emotional regulation, or more gratitude? Or you can dedicate more time to your spiritual growth and development, giving more of yourself to practicing spiritual practices. Because typical excuses like… “I don’t have enough time or money”, or… “I’ll start on Monday”, really no longer hold. And there are no more limitations, so the choice is now entirely yours.
- Use your time wisely – educate yourself. Make sure these are concrete activities because they provide us with a sense of stability and help us feel productive. Therefore, take advantage of the current availability of various online educations – foreign languages, IT skills, etc., some of which are now, under these conditions, even free, while others are offered at significantly lower prices than usual. Try to transform as many negative aspects into positive ones, and one way to extract something good and useful from this realistically bad situation is certainly investing your time and effort into yourself and your knowledge.
- This free time that you didn’t actually seek or expect can still be made more interesting by incorporating some physical activities into your daily routine. It’s well-known that any form of physical activity has a positive impact on our physical and mental health, and the choice of suitable activity is entirely up to you. So, it could be any activity that can be done at home, as long as it appeals to you and you feel good doing it. Additionally, you can fill this time by reading books that have been collecting dust on your shelves and are waiting to be read, or by listening to music you used to love but haven’t listened to in a while, or exploring new releases you haven’t had a chance to listen to. The possibilities are truly numerous, and it’s up to you to experiment and identify what personally suits you best and helps you calm down and feel a bit better during this challenging time. Once you find that activity, don’t just stop there; make an effort to make it an essential part of your new daily routine.
- Arrange online coffee or tea with friends every day at a suitable time. Connect through an app, start a group chat, or video call and “coffee-chat or vent” together. Because everything is easier and nicer together. Also, if you notice that someone is struggling more than you or others around you, make an effort to be there for them, to support them, even though you are not physically with them at the moment. Try to actively listen to them and encourage them to navigate through this entire process of change and recovery from the current situation. And remember that by sincerely trying to help someone else, you are actually helping yourself at the same time. So, it’s worth it. Also, you can ask yourself with whom you have drifted apart and stopped communicating due to too many obligations and lack of time, and who you miss. Now is the right time to reach out and reconnect in the virtual world until the first new “live” meeting.
- This self-isolation has given us more time to reflect on ourselves and our lives, as well as to reconsider personal values, attitudes, beliefs, and habits. So, pause for a moment, whatever you are doing, and ask yourself a few simple yet very important questions: Whom do you want to have in your life? Who was important to you “before corona,” and will likely be important “after corona” as well? Who needs more of your attention? Which relationships should you put more effort into? What do you want to achieve in life, and what do you already have? How much harmony or discord exists between these two? Nevertheless, what steps can you take to get closer to your goals? What plan can you make, and what specific step can you take? Where is your focus, and where is your energy directed? And perhaps most importantly – what do you choose to change? What skills do you want to acquire? Which bad habits do you want to get rid of? And what can you do right now and right here, despite all current circumstances? Reflect on these questions, give yourself honest answers, and gradually embark on transformation, step by step, because that’s the only way it can happen.
- Before going to bed, take a moment to review your day in your thoughts and choose the following: At least one thing that was even a little bit nicer than everything else that happened, One activity that you successfully completed, and One fact for which you have reason to be grateful. Simply notice these and effortlessly drift off to sleep. You’ll sleep better and wake up more refreshed and satisfied because this practice encourages positive feelings of happiness and gratitude.
- Visualize each of your upcoming days. Sit or lie down, relax, and close your eyes. Let your day be exactly as you want it to be. Imagine all the wonderful things you want to do, read, review, or listen to tomorrow. Consider what you want to prepare for lunch or maybe a dessert, and who you want to reach out to. Immerse yourself in these pleasant feelings as much as you can, and feel as if it’s all already real. It will be much easier for it to actually happen that way.
- Even though many of us are saddened by the sudden changes in our lives, we can make an effort to change that even just a little bit. One way is to start paying more attention to the “little things” that we all take for granted, or at least have taken for granted until now. So, become more aware of each of your experiences and activities. Immerse yourself more in the “here and now,” whatever you are doing. Pay much more attention to the beautiful, warm sun… the clear, blue sky… a lovely flower, tree, or the song of a bird that you can see and/or hear from your window or balcony. Enjoy your meals more, savor fruits or sweets… juice, coffee, or tea in a favorite corner of your home or yard, if you’re fortunate to have one 😊 Pay attention to these things and begin to appreciate them more starting today.
- Create your “Gratitude List” for all the things you had reasons to be grateful for “before corona,” and revisit this list “after corona” as well. Read it from time to time because it will help shift your focus to the positive and evoke a pleasant warmth of gratitude. This, in turn, will create even more gratitude and other positive emotions, making you feel better instantly, no matter how difficult or challenging things may be.
- Accept all your states, emotions, and moods, no matter how unpleasant or painful they may be. Sit with them in silence and listen to what they’re trying to tell you, what message they want to send. But be ready to let them go as well. Try releasing them with deep abdominal breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, or guided meditation. If for some reason they won’t leave, share them with someone you trust or find another “personal” way for them to depart.
- There is no normal reaction to an abnormal situation, and this is certainly one of them. So, remember that it’s perfectly okay to feel angry, frustrated, scared, disappointed, or sad because this situation caught us off guard and unprepared in many ways, leaving us frustrated, angered, scared, or saddened in some way. We’ve all lost something, had to give up something, had to forget about some desires and goals until all of this passes. We’ve all had to let go of a beautiful, pleasant spring, or at least a part of it. We’ve all lost something… for most of us, it’s temporary, but unfortunately, for some, it’s something irreparable. However, amidst all of this, we’ve probably gained something as well, though it’s currently difficult to see from this perspective. But if nothing else, there is a great potential that every crisis offers, and that is the opportunity, chance, and possibility to have something big and new, to have new selves, hopefully much more flexible, mature, prepared, and open to love, kindness, empathy, altruism, cooperation, and assistance. Perhaps this is exactly what we’ve been missing too much.
- 16. Razmislite kako nekome možete pomoći i šta lijepo za nekog možete i iz ove pozicije uraditi… Koga možete obradovati i na koji način? Kako možete dati svoj doprinos? Pomaganje drugima podstiče pozitivne emocije i širi pozitivnu energiju, koja nam je sada svima i više nego potrebna. Također ono daje i veći osjećaj smisla i svrhe svemu, te čini da se odmah osjećate bolje.
- There is no right way to behave or exact feelings you should have right now. Therefore, it’s perfectly okay if you don’t feel like tidying up your room for the 10th time, “working on yourself,” learning new languages, doing home workouts, reading self-help books, and so on. So, feel free to leave yourself alone, listen to your needs, and do what feels right at the moment – watch TV, listen to music, or simply rest and sleep because there’s a good chance you’ll feel a bit better in the morning. Therefore, accept all your emotions and stay in constant contact with them. If they are too intense, burdensome, or last too long and you don’t know how to best deal with them or help yourself to alleviate them, seek help from your family or friends. And if for some reason that doesn’t work, feel free to seek professional help. It’s no longer something to be ashamed of, really!
- Take care of yourself and be gentle with yourself. Also, pay attention to the food you consume during these days of isolation and make sure you drink enough fluids to keep your body well hydrated. Avoid reaching for a pile of sweets and snacks to improve your current mood. While it may work temporarily, in the long run, it only leads to excess weight, dissatisfaction, and a sense of guilt, which you definitely don’t need right now.
- And one more thing of utmost importance – love yourself, despite everyone and everything. Every day, say it loud and clear to yourself. Speak it out loud, freely, and confidently. Even if at that moment you don’t feel it but want to start feeling it, say it anyway, believing it to be true that you do feel it right now and always. Say to yourself: I love you just the way you are, despite… (mention anything about yourself at that moment that you don’t like, whether externally or internally, in terms of a negative trait or emotion, inappropriate behavior, or inadequate action). Because all of that is you, and you are wonderful just as you are, unique, special, and different from everyone else in the world. So be love, live love, and spread love always, regardless of everything. Love yourself and the world around you because love heals and cures, changes and moves, on all levels. Thus, it gives us everything we need right now, doesn’t it? So think about it and apply it. Heal yourself with that love, change and move, and thereby encourage the people around you to do the same more easily. Because if you could do it, they can too, if they truly desire it, dare to start and make an effort to persevere on the path of change. And the good thing is that it all starts with the desire alone!
- Be the change you want to see in the “world after corona.” Set aside your fear, put it on the back burner, and allow your mind to recall past positive outcomes and imagine positive outcomes in the future. By your way of thinking and expecting only positive outcomes, be a positive example to others. Find reasons for happiness and optimism, despite everything, and strive to spread your positive attitude to everyone in your immediate and wider family, city, and even country. Because we are all in this together! And we all have the exact same goal. We just want all of this to pass as quickly as possible and for things to get better for all of us. In line with this, try to set aside just 5 minutes from each day to visualize the best possible outcomes of this situation, both for yourself and for others who will come in the shortest possible time. And in this very simple way, “ignite and accelerate change” and allow it to manifest just like that. Because a diverse group of people in many different places, united by the same desire and goal, represents a large amount of positive, motivating energy, which if directed in the right way can enable positive changes, both globally and individually, and support the healing process of our planet and all of us. Therefore, invite your family and friends to join you in this “challenge of achieving positive changes, and individual and collective healing” because by doing this visualization every day, all together, you can help yourselves even in the “era of corona” to stay calm, positive, strong, and stable, and to feel the joy of living again or become aware of it once more. It’s worth a try! Why not…